100% Responsibility

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“You can take a pill or you can take Responsibility!”

Everything that happens in life is perfect! Everything has a purpose but that purpose can be found when we go back, not to find fault but to learn & grow! When I am having a difficult time, it always helps when I take responsibility.

In order for us to take responsibility, it helps to ask and answer these four questions:

  • How did I create the situation? (This is not to find fault, blame or make you feel worse.  This is a “No Judgement” response!)
  • What did I learn or what are the gifts & lessons? (There is a blessing in everything that happens in life but we must look for it.)
  • What is going to be different?  (Now that you know how you created it and the gifts & lessons…  Now what?)
  • How will I use this experience to help others?  (When you are truly evolved and can observe every situation through the eyes of gratitude, you can help another going through the same thing.)

When life gives us lemons, we can choose for the lemons to make us feel sour or we can choose to turn the lemons into lemon meringue pie!  We are always in choice…  What will you choose?

I look forward to reading your stories…

You do not have to enter your name, email address, or website to answer below. You are welcome to share anonymously.

Here is my example of taking 100% Responsibility!

Four years ago, a company that offered to pay me almost twice my base salary and a commission structure to die for, recruited me!  I liked where I was employed but didn’t see how I would be able to make that kind of money and accepted the position.

Moving forward, the new company trained me and I was excited for this new opportunity.  I could not wait to exceed their expectations but quickly realized that the “sale cycle” took over 3 months.  (They knew this, as well but did not tell me.)  All was going well but towards 1 ½ months I was asked to provide my clients contact information and so I created a weekly log.  The pressure to perform increased and expectations were unreasonable but my new employers seem to love all my ideas and the progress I was making.  On the 89th day, they let me go.  They told me that the contract I signed had a 90 day “out clause” and they could let me go “without cause”.  They also told me that my non-compete would be enforced, so to not even think about working with the competition.  I was in shock and could not believe they had done this to me!  (This is my “victim” story!)

1.  I created this problem because I did not research this company and didn’t ask enough questions about the “out clause” or “non-compete”.   I also ignored my intuition…  I felt something was not right with this company but I let the money they were offering cloud my vision.

2.  I learned never to sign a contract without learning more about the company I am about to work with and will ask a ton of questions about “probationary” period.  The gifts & lessons were many and through the process of working for this company, I made great contacts.  I learned that I could rise to challenges and that I had a gift for connecting with people I just met.

3.  What is different is that I no longer sign “non-competes” and I now research my clients much better.  I listen to my intuition and follow my instincts.

4.  How will I use this experience?  Well, because I made so many wonderful connections, I was able to start my own company.  Three hours after I hung up with that dreadful call, I had my first client.  Six hours later, I had my second client!   I now had the freedom to be helpful to my clients without the expectations of an employer.  My goal is always to listen to my clients and by doing so I can provide the services and support they need while being true to my essence.

I feel empowered to not have remained a victim or harbor a grudge.  That experience, although painful, helped me see that these were lessons I needed to learn in order to push me to start my own company.  I never thought I would want this responsibility but the benefits are great; I can never be “let go” and I love my boss!  😉

I want to learn from you… become a teacher!!!  What is your “victim” to 100% Responsibility story?

11 Comments
  1. Thank you for the opportunity to look at my challenge. I’ve always equated responsibility for blame…so that is interesting.I have been addicted to prescribed sedatives for 30 years. How I created the problem was having stomach aches as a cry for attention.It got my dads attention, but the victim in me still needs his validation.Staying on the drugs makes me feel validated and I get my dads attention…stilll! (This is interesting..!! Gifts and lessons..Understanding that because I perceived my dad had no time for me, doesn’t make mr unworthy. I don’t need to get validation from parents…only from myself..Self acceptance, I will now be mindful of the reason for the addiction and be mindful of above.Self acceptance plan..How will I help others. My acting on the findings, using a diary..and coming into balance..and off medication and victim.. xxx

    • Thank YOU Sanne… I am so proud of you! You have made my heart sing!!! Once you know better, you do better.
      You are the creator of your life and when you can sit without judgement of yourself or others you will find that Life Is Perfect and it is full of Gifts & Lessons.
      Dr. Bruce Lipton taught me that the first seven years of our life we are in a hypnotic state and are little tape recorders. All those messages later become part of our subconscious mind. That was when you made up that you were “unworthy”. Being unworthy is a lie that has controlled you and I want you to know that I believe in you and that YOU ARE WORTHY!
      I want to encourage you to dig even deeper and see that these self defeating “tapes” play in our head over and over again. Please protect your thoughts… Listen to positive affirmations that will let you see the beautiful person you really are and surround yourself with whole healthy people. Also, as you get off your medications consult a Certified Holistic/Integrative doctor who will guide you to heal naturally. Please keep in touch and let me know how I can help you in your new exciting journey towards your “yellow brick road!” All My Love, L

  2. I learnt a lot ….. Thank you very much.. Keep writing,many of us like your thoughts.:)

  3. I received the following email from Nina. Her situation is not unique and one that can lead to unnecessary stress. Perhaps we can learn from Nina’s desire to get along and take “the high road”.

    NINA WRITES: I’VE HAD A QUESTION I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO ASK AND I AM SHARING IT ON THIS FORUM BECAUSE THERE MAY BE OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE IN A SIMILAR SITUATION. IN SCHOOL THERE IS A GIRL WHO HAS DECIDED SHE DOESN’T LIKE ME. I HAVE NEVER FIGURED OUT, NOR, HAS ANYONE GIVEN ME ANY INDICATION AS TO WHAT I DID TO OFFEND HER. SHE HAS BEEN VERY RUDE TO ME AND WE HAVE EXCHANGE WORDS. SHE IS ALSO VERY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE. I’M WONDERING IF I SHOULD ATTEMPT TO GET HER ALONE AND SEE IF THERE IS A WAY I CAN RECONCILE. IT’S DIFFICULT FOR ME BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I’VE DONE NOTHING WRONG, BUT AS A CHRISTIAN I FEEL I SHOULD BE BETTER THAN THAT. ALSO, I FEEL LIKE THIS PERSON IS SUFFERING AND I SHOULD HAVE PITY FOR THEM. HOWEVER, IT IS DIFFICULT TO EVEN ATTEMPT TO REACH OUT WHEN 1) I’M AFRAID OF AN UNNECESSARY CONFRONTATION AND 2) I HONESTLY FEEL THIS PERSON HAS CREATED A CONFLICT SIMPLY BECAUSE OF HER OWN INSECURITIES. IT’S MOSTLY THE CHRISTIAN IN ME THAT WISHES TO ADDRESS THIS, I’M JUST NOT SURE HOW. WHAT WOULD YOU SUGGEST?

    Dear Nina, thanks for sending me your question…

    Please know that it is difficult to coach someone by just reading “one side” of the story. I also have many follow up questions but I will do my best!

    I do want to acknowledge you for wanting to “reconcile”… I believe your intuition is “spot on” and here are some observations to help you do just that!

    If you notice, I have underlined your letter in areas that I felt you were either coming across as a victim or from a place of superiority. I wonder if this other person is picking this up? I also made Bold the area where I felt you were coming from a place of responsibility. (SORRY NINA BUT THIS PAGE DOES NOT ALLOW “BOLD OR UNDERLINE”… Please take a moment to reread your letter.)

    What I feel will support you, when dealing with this person, is removing the “victim” powerless attitude (that comes from the EGO) and adopt a “responsible”, powerful one. So here is what I suggest… Write a “responsible” note and invite her to a lunch, coffee or chat. As a suggestion, the note could read:

    Dear (insert name),
    I know we are both under a lot of stress with school and perhaps I may have not been at my best when addressing you.
    If I have done or said anything to offend you, I would like the opportunity to listen and take responsibility for my behavior.
    I want to get together to discuss how I can best support you and improve our relationship. Would you be open to start fresh? If so, when would it be convenient for us to meet for (insert; coffee, chat, lunch… etc!) ?
    I do hope we can get to know each other better and help support one another during this stressful time.
    Warm Regards,
    Nina

    The above letter is only a suggestion…
    If she accepts your invitation, then listen to what she has to say. Perhaps she is hurting and you can comfort her. Perhaps, she perceives you as being rude or coming from a place of superiority. Don’t excuse or defend yourself by saying; “well, that is because you said this!” This is your opportunity to apologize! (lead by example.) Your intention is to “clear the air” and take responsibility for the relationship you want to create.

    By her seeing your willingness to work together, she might apologize for her behavior but please do not expect an apology! (This is about You taking responsibility.) If by chance she is open, then ask for her support. Let her know what she can do to support you.

    Please keep in mind; you are going to please some of the people, some of the time but not all of the people, all of the time! There might be a possibility that she just is not open to meet with you… There is a possibility that she will continue with her behavior. So here is what you do… Any time you think of her, instead of you getting all upset; SHIFT your thoughts about her! Just send her love, peace, joy and all the things that are good. Remember, whatever you wish onto others will come back to you!

    My observations were shared to be helpful and supportive. I do hope you have already answered the 4 Responsibility questions and can look at this relationship as an opportunity to grow!

    Thank you for your trust… Please keep me informed as to the outcome.

    Much Love,
    L

  4. Thank you for this site, it’s awesome, you Rock! Thank you again,you have made a difference!

    • You are so kind… I am grateful.
      Thank You for your support!
      Much Love,
      L

  5. Amazing site! Thank You … Today I came here for a friend and was encouraged to get dressed and get out there to blow the dust off of me. I love this reading and the words make so much sense to me. I am “shifting on a dime” and telling myself “I am health, wealthy, wise and LOVE! Thank you for this. This site is where I’m coming to for a friend while going through my Mom’s terminal illness. I am truly learning: “How did I create it? What are the gifts and lessons? What am I going to do differently?”

    • Thank you so much Barb… Every word uttered from your mouth, good or bad, is an affirmation! “I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am wise & I am love” has helped me refocus when I notice my thoughts, feelings & actions aka, “affirmations” aren’t supportive of the life I want to live. I am so glad that you are protecting yourself as well. Keep reading and sharing the good news about the site!

  6. I clicked on the radio channel to listen. Then when I clicked on another page on your website the radio show went off. is there a way to click on the radio show, listen to the live broadcast and then leave it ON while I am going through other pages? You can set it up so that it stays on until I turn it off or I go off your website.

    Make sense?

  7. Love this …

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