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A Journey To:  Awareness, Acceptance, and Agape Love!

The Third 30 Days:  Agape Love

Days 61 – 70



Congratulations on making it through the second 30 days…  How did you do?  Do you have any questions, comments or suggestions?  If you do, feel free to send them to Lilly@WhenYouNeedaFriend.com.



Welcome to the next 30 days!  Time is going too fast and the New Year is here!  How appropriate that we would start a new year with a new attitude.  This new attitude will lead to self-discovery and a different kind of self-love.


We have been focusing on finding our passions, our essence and how to be the difference we want to see in this world.  Are you still unhappy?  Are you still feeling unsatisfied? Are you still holding onto grudges, hurt feelings and the past?  Are you still worried about the future?  If you are nodding your head then this week will be very helpful to you.


This week we are going to identify our EGO!   I have heard that EGO stands for Edging God Out.  In reality, we all have an ego. How much the ego controls us will define our happiness and satisfaction.   I picked a song that totally describes The EGO…  Click Here to listen!



So let’s start from the very beginning…  What is the ego?  The ego is an identity of our own construction, an identity which is false.  The ego hides in the “I am” or “me”.  The ego always needs: to Be Right…  to Be In Control… to Be Comfortable…  to Look Good!  The ego loves drama, takes things personally and is never satisfied!


Here are a few examples of the ego:


1:  This is a hypothetical scenario that I may have done:  When invited to a party I might decide to take the time and do “one more task” before getting ready.  Next thing I know, I lose track of time…  I am now late, really, really late! So, when I arrive at the party I say, “I am so sorry I am late, the traffic was horrendous!”


Freeze!  Let’s identify the ego… 


Well, this is not hypothetical… I am trying to “look good” by saying “I may have done,” the reality is, I am sure I have lost track of time. (Wait, I know I have! 😉 ) Perhaps it is because I am shy and don’t want to be the first person at the party so I subconsciously look for excuses to keep me from being the first one to arrive.  Ego:  (Being Comfortable, Looking Good & Being in Control.) 


2:  Have you ever said the following?   “I am a republican/democrat/religious/spiritual/professional/poor/wealthy…”  If you have made fun of whatever is not something you identify with or get angry when you hear an opposing argument then anyone who doesn’t believe like you is wrong!  Ego:  (Need to be Right)


3:  Do you ever find yourself discussing your illnesses and “one upping” people because your illness is worse than anyone else?  Have you used your illness as an excuse to get out of something you really do not want to do?  Ego:  (Being Right, Being Comfortable, Being In Control & Looking Good)   Even when we are ill there are things we can do within our parameters.   Be careful not to use your illness as a way to get special treatment or to get out of what you don’t want to do.  Perhaps some of you will get upset with this example.  Don’t worry…  That is your ego!   



So what is the difference between Ego and Healthy Self Esteem? 



Healthy Self Esteem: Is satisfied with self; Satisfied with what one can do, Content with what one knows or possesses, etc. 


The Ego:  The moment we compare any of the above achievements with others and feel better or less than, then that is the ego. 


It is wonderful to be happy with who we are and it’s even fine to share our achievements with others but the moment we identify with what we do or who we are… then the ego takes over.  Be aware that the ego takes things personally, uses words like “should/could have” and is never satisfied.  The ego will also keep us stuck in the past or worried about the future.  We cannot change the past and when anxious about the future we miss our present.


There is much more about the ego and I can go on and on, but the purpose for this week is to take the time to research it and become aware of how many ways our ego keeps us unsatisfied.  Eckhart Tolle is an amazing resource to help us learn more about the ego.


Some suggestions to get started…   Just click on the link



Explanation on the Ego  


A New Earth 


Is the ego a mistake?  



The goal this week is to learn about the ego and not only to identify it in others but most importantly, identify it in ourselves.  It is easy to identify the ego in others but when we become aware of our own ego that is when we can start to focus on our essence or what we want.


The best way to deal with the ego is to become aware of it and then shift to a different way of being.  This way of being can be gratitude, acceptance and openness.  When we are in our ego we are “unconscious” and becoming aware will help us choose what we want…  To be right or happy!  To be comfortable or fearless!  To look good or be genuine! To be in control or free!   But first it is important to spend time learning about our egoic triggers.  


The assignment for this week is to write in your journal, all the different ways your ego is keeping you in resistance, unhappy, fearful, ashamed, superior, detached from relationships or whatever you feel is keeping you from loving your self and others to your maximum loving potential.  (Please do so without judgment.)  So get your thoughts out of your head and into your journals.  Once you write these thoughts or feelings down, become aware of the times you were in your ego and also, how you shifted from your ego into your essence.


Here are some examples of what I mean:


I get upset when my boss tells me I am doing something wrong… I do not like his tone of voice and his attitude! He makes me feel that I never do anything right!  Today, my boss told me that I needed to change a procedure but instead of getting upset, I thought how truly grateful I am to have a job.  


I discovered that I feel superior about my religion and anyone who is not “whatever religion” doesn’t know THE TRUTH!  I get upset when I hear anyone talk about their religion.   Today, I actually spoke to someone with a different religion and discovered that we have more in common than I thought.  


I feel bad about myself because I am not pretty or talented like others…  I dislike my body and I am not happy about my life!  Today, I discovered that my ego makes my vision distorted so I took a good look in the mirror and noticed how beautiful my eyes were.  I am grateful that I can see!



In conclusion…    Never Complain, Be Grateful and Choose Love!  😉



Write about your experience and feelings about yourself in your journal and also:



Journal on your RAK!



Remember, BG!



You can do this…  I believe in you!!!




Please note:  If at any time you need help processing or have any questions, email me at Lilly@WhenYouNeedaFriend.com or Dr. Dave at David@DrDavidBakerHargrove.com



If you like, each day, share/post your feelings and/or pictures on one of the following: 


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