90 Day Challenge to Self Love ~ Days 71-78

A Journey To: Awareness, Acceptance, and Agape Love!

The Third 30 Days: Agape Love

Days 71 – 78

Congratulations on making it through the 1^st week of the 3rd 30 days of our 90 Day Challenge to Self Love… How did you do? Do you have any questions, comments or suggestions? If you do, feel free to send them to Lilly@WhenYouNeedaFriend.com.

Welcome to the next week… The New Year is Here! Last week we looked at the Awareness of EGO, without judgment. There is one more thing I want to say about the ego. Many have asked me how to “kill” or “get rid of” the Ego? So, I will share the only way I have learned and experienced… Surrender! Surrender is key when it comes to dealing with the ego. It is not surrendering to the ego; rather, it is accepting the circumstance or situation “As It Is!” When you give up the need to rewrite or relive the past; give up having to know “why such a thing happened” and accept “What is”… Ahhh! Surrender is the equivalent to ego as “Kryptonite” is to Superman! Mastering awareness of our ego will help us remove unwanted stress, frustration, disagreements and anxiety in our lives. Try it… it will set you free!

Now it is time to focus on Forgiveness. It is time to slow down and do some more Cognitive Restructuring… Let’s address all of our “Limiting Beliefs” about Forgiveness without Judgment! Before you start this segment, it is important to note, that in order for you to receive the full impact of this forgiveness exercise, that you Read the entire section, Click on all the hyperlinks and Listen to all the songs… Let’s set the right frame of mind so forgiveness can occur. Click Here to listen to a song on Forgiveness.

There has been a misconception about Forgiveness… As the saying goes; “Forgive & Forget!” That is so WRONG! I suggest we adopt a different way of looking at forgiveness. Who can forget? No one, unless you have Alzheimer’s or Dementia! Every situation or circumstance is an opportunity to grow. If we forget then how will we learn? How will we grow? So, I say; “Forgive & Grow!”

Another misconception about Forgiveness… Many feel that if we forgive, we are accepting or condoning the harm that was done to us or that we perpetrated ourselves. Well, I believe that in order to forgive, there must be an acceptance that something has happened, and then it is our turn to figure out what to do about it?

In April 2014, I did a show on forgiveness. Once I was done with the show, I posted my notes and published a blog on Forgiveness. Click Here to read what I wrote.

So now, after reading my blog on forgiveness, I hope you are more aware of the importance of Forgiveness. Now it is your turn to explore and be honest with your feelings… Do you want to release a heavy burden? Do you want to be set free? The assignment for the week is to identify where forgiveness needs to be practiced in your life. It is time for you to look at all the people you refuse to forgive and write their names in your journal.

1. Write the prices and payoffs for not forgiving and whatever else comes to mind. Ask yourself the following:

When I think of this person or people, what does my body feel like? (stressed, numb, anger/hatred or sadness)

What would my life be like if I were to let go of ________?

If this person (the one I cannot forgive) were to die tomorrow, what would I do or say differently to that person?

What did I learn from this person and what are the gifts & lessons?

How can I use this experience to help others who might be going through similar trials?

2. Whenever you think of the individual who hurt you, send them love, peace, and abundance. (Remember, what you wish for others comes back to you!)

3. Write a Forgiveness letter. (This is a letter to the person needing forgiveness.) Even if you cannot forgive, write a letter as if you have forgiven. This letter does not have to be sent to the individual who needs forgiveness nor does the letter need to be about them… It can be a letter to yourself declaring how forgiving has changed your life. Be creative and use it as a tool to help you heal.

4. If you cannot forgive at this time, at least acknowledge that you want to or that you are willing to start the process of forgiveness.

Finally, Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could actually be any different! It is time to move forward… Let it go so that the past does not hold you prisoner! Begin a New Year free of the chains that bind you! Set yourself Free and Live The Life of YOUR Dreams!

One last song on Forgiveness… Click Here to listen to A Heart That Forgives! It is time… Set Yourself Free, Heal and Forgive!

Write about your experience and feelings about yourself in your journal, and please remember to do your Random Acts of Kindness (RAK) and Be Gentle (BG) with yourself. (Journal on both.)

For suggestions on RAK & BG… Click on: Journal on your RAK & Remember, BG!

You can do this… I believe in you!!!

Please note: If at any time you need help processing or have any questions, email me at Lilly@WhenYouNeedaFriend.com or Dr. Dave at David@DrDavidBakerHargrove.com

If you like, each day, share/post your feelings and/or pictures on one of the following: