A Journey To: Awareness, Acceptance, and Agape Love!
The Second 30 Days: Acceptance
Days 45 – 51
Congratulations on making it through the third week of the second 30 days… How did you do? Do you have any questions, comments or suggestions? If you do, feel free to send them to Lilly@WhenYouNeedaFriend.com.
Welcome to the next seven days! Time is going too fast and it is time to slow down and do some more “Cognitive Restructuring”… This time, let’s embrace all our “Expectations” without judgment! Listen to this song on Expectations!
Here is a little example:
A while ago, I was upset with a family member because they had not responded in a way I thought they “should” respond. Those thoughts lead me to feel sad and unloved. Those feelings lead me to act hurt. I remember telling my life coach how I was feeling and how hurt I was. I knew I needed to shift but didn’t know how.
I want to share how the conversation went:
Me: I need to share how I am feeling about “my family member”!
Coach: “What is going on?”
Me: “Wahhhhh… BooHoo… Wahhh… I am hurt about the way they have treated me, can you believe this?”
Coach: “Well Lilly, who said and where is it written that your family member should have acted the way you felt they should? Would you have felt the same if it were a stranger or a friend?”
Me: “Hmmm… No!”
Coach: “So, You are not dealing with them hurting you… What you are dealing with is your expectation of what that person should have said or done!”
Me: WUH… This isn’t about me!!! My EXECTATION!!!??? (As I am wiping my tears) I realized at that moment that the family member was not going to change but I could change my expectation of them.
Now for the reality: If the same circumstance had happened with anyone else, I would have not given it another thought but because it was “Family”… I had a specific expectation!
This reality helped me to shift my thoughts and my thoughts became feelings that supported me. My mood changed… It was that instant! My shifting didn’t change what happened. It only changed how I thought about what happened, which lead to different feelings and different behaviors on my part. Having a life coach or someone who will “smack you back to reality” is always useful when seeking to “shift”! So now it is your turn…
Days 46-51: Make a commitment to establish a new relationship with the expectations in your life that are not supporting you. I once heard Wayne Dyer say; “When You Change The Way YOU Look at Things, The Things You Look At Change!
Go back to the list you created about “your hurts and resentments” and if you are still holding onto any of these, then it is time to look at your expectations.
Take time every day during these six days to think about why these hurts still matter. Look at them without judgment and ask yourself; “Would I be upset if anyone else did the same thing? You might also want to look at the prices for holding on to the hurt.
If you still cannot let it go… Almost always, we struggle with our surroundings because of our expectations. Expectations are the easiest thing to change about our world. Rather than trying to change other people or situations you will find it easier to change your perspective. Take a look at your expectations about each thing on your list and compare your expectations with what really is. See if you can change your expectations first rather than wanting the change to come from outside of yourself.
Can we try to change the other person? When someone is ready for change, maybe but if they are not open to change then all you will feel is frustration! You can however change your expectation. You cannot change the past but maybe it is just your time to let it go… Release it and I promise, you will feel less burdened!
Ok… I cannot help myself! Click here if you want to listen to another song about EXPECTATIONS! 😉
Write throughout the week about your experience and feelings about your expectations, in your journal and also:
You can do this… I believe in you!!!
If you like, each day, share/post your feelings and/or pictures on one of the following:
- Instagram: Lillian_McDermott_Radio_Show
- Email me at Lilly@WhenYouNeedaFriend.com
So Talk To Me, Listen And We Will All Learn Together…
The Lillian McDermott Radio Show
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