“FORGIVE & FORGET”, RIGHT? NO… WRONG!


“HATRED NEVER CEASES BY HATRED BUT BY LOVE ALONE IS HEALED,

THIS IS AN ANCIENT AND ETERNAL LAW” BUDDHA

 

 

ALTHOUGH I DO NOT CONSIDER MYSELF A BUDDHIST, WE CAN LEARN A LOT FROM THE ENLIGHTENED ONE…  BUDDHA REALLY ROCKS!

 

 

FORGIVENESS HAS RECEIVED SUCH A BUMMED RAP…  MANY BELIEVE THAT FORGIVENESS IS FOR THE WEAK OR MILD MANNERED;  THAT IF YOU FORGIVE SOMEONE, SOMEHOW WE NEED TO ACCEPT POOR BEHAVIOR OR ABUSE; “FORGIVE & FORGET”, RIGHT?  NO… WRONG!  SO, HOW ABOUT IF I ATTEMPT A LESSON IN FORGIVENESS…  I WILL CALL IT FORGIVENESS 101.

 

 

BEFORE I OUTLINE AND SHARE WHAT I HAVE LEARNED ON FORGIVENESS, I MUST SAY; “FORGIVENESS & TRUST ARE NOT THE SAME THING!!!”  FORGIVENESS IS AN ACT OF SELF LOVE…  “TRUST” IS SOMETHING THE OTHER PERSON MUST EARN.   (SOMETIMES REMOVING THAT PERSON FROM YOUR LIFE MIGHT BE WHAT IS BEST.)   

 

 

SO HERE ARE SOME TIPS ON FORGIVENESS!

 

 

1.  UNDERSTAND WHAT FORGIVENESS IS & WHAT IT IS NOT…

  • IT IS NOT CONDONING
  • IT IS FREEDOM & SELF LOVE

 

 

 

2.  LOOK WITHIN AND SENSE WHY WE ARE HOLDING ON TO THE SUFFERING.

 

 

  • WHAT ARE THE PAYOFFS?
  • WHAT ARE THE PRICES? 
  • TRULY SIT WITH THE BENEFITS OF LOVING HEART AND FEEL THE JOY A LOVING HEART BRINGS.

 

 

 

3.  DISCOVER & ASK, HAS MY SUFFERING BECOME MY “IDENTITY”? – PLEASE DON’T BE LOYAL TO SUFFERING.  LACK OF FORGIVENESS LEADS TO DISEASE!  (IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU MUST SHARE YOUR “VICTIM” STORY WITH EVERYONE YOU MEET, YOU MIGHT HAVE ACQUIRED A NEW IDENTITY!)

 

 

 

4.  DO NOT WAIT FOR THE OTHER PERSON TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS… IF YOU HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO DISCUSS THE ISSUE WITH THE OTHER PERSON, FINE…  BUT IF NOT, FINE!  YOU STILL GET TO INTERNALLY GO THROUGH THE PROCESS OF FORGIVENESS.

 

 

 

 5.  IT’S A PROCESS…  EVERY STEP YOU TAKE TOWARDS RELEASE WILL BRING YOU CLOSER TO LOVE…  YOU MIGHT DISCOVER THAT IT IS “YOU” WHO NEEDS FORGIVENESS…  TRUST THE PROCESS!

 

 

 

6.  SET AN INTENTION….  WHAT DO YOU WANT?  ASK:  DO I REALLY WANT TO RELEASE MYSELF FROM THIS PRISON?

 

 

 

7.  LEARN THE INNER & OUTER FORMS OF FORGIVENESS…  DON’T JUST SAY “I FORGIVE” BUT DO IT THROUGH THOUGHT, FEELING AND ACTION…  MEDITATION, CONFESSION OR RECONCILIATION.  (LISTEN TO YOUR BODY…  IT WILL GUIDE YOU!)

 

 

 

 8.  THINK OF WHAT BRINGS JOY & LOVE…  OPEN YOUR HEART AND ONCE THE HEART IS OPEN, ALLOW OTHER EMOTIONS TO ENTER.  BRING THE PAIN INTO AN OPEN HEART AND SEND LOVE TO THE PERSON YOU WANT TO FORGIVE. – (START WITH WHAT IS EASY AND BUILD.)

 

 

 

9.  THERE ARE DIFFERENT REASONS WE DESERVE TO FORGIVE.  IF THERE HAS BEEN A LOSS OF ANY KIND, THEN GRIEVING  THAT LOSS, MUST BE PART OF THE PROCESS SO WE CAN LET GO.

 

 

 

10.  IF YOU HAVE BEEN A VICTIM OF ABUSE, GET THE HELP YOU NEED IN ORDER TO RELEASE THE TRAUMA THAT RESIDES IN YOUR BODY.  (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE OR TAPPING HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO HELP.)

 

 

 

11.  KNOW THAT WHATEVER HAPPENED HAS PURPOSE…  DISCOVER THE PURPOSE AND USE IT TO BUILD AND GIVE YOU STRENGTH…  FIND THE BEAUTY AND BE GRATEFUL!

 

 

 

12.  CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE!  WHEN YOU CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THINGS, THE THINGS YOU LOOK AT, CHANGE.

 

  • GO FROM “VICTIM” TO “VICTOR”! 
  • GO FROM “LOOK WHAT WAS DONE TO ME” TO “THIS IS WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS EXPERIENCE AND THESE ARE MY GIFTS!”

 

 

 

ULTIMATELY, FORGIVENESS IS A CHOICE AND SO IS LOVE.  FOR MOST, THIS CHOICE MIGHT NOT HAPPEN OVER NIGHT BUT THE QUICKER YOU GET THERE, THE SOONER YOU CAN HEAL AND ACHIEVE FREEDOM! 

 

 

 

“HOLDING ONTO ANGER IS LIKE DRINKING POISON AND EXPECTING

THE OTHER PERSON TO DIE”…  

 

 

 

SO, ONE MORE THOUGHT BEFORE I CLOSE…  INSTEAD OF “FORGIVE & FORGET”  HOW ABOUT IF WE SAY; “FORGIVE & LEARN!”  PERHAPS THIS NEW WAY OF THINKING WILL HELP US HEAL QUICKER.

 

 

 

IS FORGIVENESS OR LACK OF FORGIVENESS HOLDING YOU PRISONER?   WHO DO YOU NEED TO FORGIVE TODAY?  

 

 

 

PLEASE REMEMBER, WHAT YOU WISH ONTO OTHERS WILL COME BACK TO YOU…  SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO COME BACK? 

 

 

 

I WISH YOU PEACE, LOVE, JOY & UNEXPECTED ABUNDANCE!  😉 

L

 

PS:  WHY IS THIS POST IN ALL CAPS?  WELL, BECAUSE FORGIVENESS IS IMPORTANT AND BECAUSE I TYPE EVERYTHING IN CAPS WHEN PREPARING FOR THE SHOW…  THE ORIGINAL OUTLINE WAS ALL CAPS AND I DIDN’T WANT TO RETYPE IT…  CAN YOU PLEASE FORGIVE ME?  😉

 

 

So talk to me, listen and we will all learn together…

The Lillian McDermott Radio Show

~  Weekdays from 9 am to 10 am (except Thursdays) and Saturday, from 12 pm to 2 pm  ~

On “The Talk To Me Station” AM 1300 WMEL & Worldwide on www.WhenYouNeedaFriend.com.

 

 

 

Listen on your Smart Phone by downloading the USTREAM app…  (Found on the homepage) Once downloaded, search for WMEL.  It is that easy!  😉

 

 

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